You are grownup and you understand how important it is to be empathetic. They want love, companionship, romance and commitment and are doing their best to navigate the rocky shores of dating over 40.
Nice, successful, decent people who find themselves single at this time in their life.
You just need to work the dating system...putting yourself in situations so you can find him and he can find you.
It means making sure you're on dating sites that are the right fit for you and while you're at it, turn your friends into Dating Fairy Godmothers who can fix you up.
My own encounters revolved around OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish, both of which are free dating sites.
Here’s what I learned: If you’re looking for someone of similar interests and lifestyle, the more specific you can be upfront, the better. What was the last good book your read, or film you saw?
I’m no slouch: tall, trim, own my own business, nice guy to a fault. “L, you are kind, decent, funny, and attractive but I just don’t feel enough “electricity” (aka infatuation) so I’m going to have to end it.”The biggest obstacle I face it is meeting this expectation of “rock me to my soul connection” fantasy man that even they can’t explain.
And as a woman who predominately dates straight, cisgender men, so far, I notice that these old ideas pop up more commonly, or at least more overtly, for people in my age group than they do for women 30 years younger than me.
For instance, does “loves sports” mean you’re up for cross-country skiing and white-water rafting, or is it a declaration that every weekend is devoted to channel-surfing the pro and college games? Potential dates skimming your profile are more likely to respond to specifics.
Believe me, it’s a much better strategy than scheduling a coffee date and finding you have little or nothing in common.
These women have been emotionally abused, disappointed, betrayed and they are just so hard-wired to not get hurt again. By setting unattainable standards (fantasy man) they ensure they will never again let somebody close enough to them to hurt them again.
But then, I only took one psych course in college……I like to keep things simple.